Program Your Own Success

By: Richard B. Brooke
September 22, 2008

I often marvel at the innovative men and women responsible for the advancement of modern technology. Somehow these brilliant minds refuse to believe there are limits to what they can create and accomplish.

When you think about it, our minds are the most intricate and powerful “computers” imaginable. They are worth literally billions in what they can accomplish — just ask Bill Gates.

The problem with our “computer” is that we tend to let anyone and everyone program it. And the more respected and admired the source, the more quickly we adopt that programming as truth.

Even when we input the code ourselves, most of us don’t know the first thing about writing functional programs — much less the sophisticated ones that motivate us to break through barriers and lead us to succeed.

Purge the Old Programming

Some of our most common programming leads to the belief that desire, hard work, being a good person and getting a good education will lead to our success. Many of our parents, grandparents and teachers hammer these concepts into our minds. Unfortunately, this old programming has very little to do with whether or not we actually achieve what we desire. The good news is we can purge the old and input new code that shifts the way we — and those we influence — go about creating a powerful life.

Get Very Clear About What You Want to Achieve

What does it look like exactly? What does it sound like? Smell like? Feel like?

This is called a Vision, or a mindset, or an expectation. Goals are merely things we want and hold in our minds and hearts as though we do not have them. The important distinction is that Visions express that we do have them … now.

The part of us that is powerful and can do anything — face any fear, climb any mountain, build any business, solve any problem — is our spiritual self. It includes our mind, our body, our emotions, our psyche and our intuition. These combined synergistic forces can and will achieve anything it is programmed to accomplish … even if you do not want it to.

Learn to Believe That It Is Inevitable

It is belief — the positive expectancy of holding your Vision as inevitable — that throws gas on the fire. When you know it will happen, expect it to happen, and see it happening in your mind, then it will happen.

When you want it to happen, work hard for it but believe it might not or should not happen (that maybe you are not even worth it or good enough to pull it off) then guess what? It won’t happen.

Program your own beliefs. One common way we learn to believe is for someone we trust implicitly to tell us something is so. This is how our minds were programmed to believe most of what we believe — through our parents and teachers during our developmental years. We rarely challenge those beliefs, even if they do not support us in living a fulfilling life as an adult.

Another way we learn to believe is by studying evidence. When we see something with our own eyes or experience it, we tend to believe it is so. We even have a name for it: Truth. Truth is something we have experienced and know to be so.

The third, less-common way we learn to believe is one that you and I can reprogram to change any aspect of our lives for the better, if we choose:

Our spiritual self cannot tell the difference between a real experience (truth) and one that we have vividly imagined (Vision).

Remember, our spiritual self is the powerful part of us that can and does do anything we want. Our mind can tell the difference between a real event and one vividly imagined, but our mind is not the part of us that is powerful or gets big things done.

Our mind has an opinion about everything. It is often a mess and the primary culprit in keeping our spiritual self from unleashing its power. Now you may say that your mind is brilliant, well-organized and knows lots of stuff about lots of stuff. And you may be right. But just ask your mind to allow you to do something you are afraid to do, and watch how much it knows about creative avoidance.

The fact that our spiritual self cannot tell the difference between the truth and truth imagined is the secret to programming any new belief. All we have to do is imagine over and over and over again this certain truth we have chosen (our Vision), and it is as though it is actually happening to us, for us and with us. We experience our Vision as the truth and in time, it becomes so.

Let It Happen

Letting it happen is different from making it happen. When we are motivated, we let things happen for us. There is a world of abundance out there; an abundance of money, love, health, fun and adventure. All we have to do is program our mind to believe in ourselves, and in our own value and dreams.

Between the ages of one and five, we were very good at all of that … it came naturally. We expressed our spirituality in our play, in our dreams and in our unconditional love. Then one day, we were asked to grow up. Lie down would be a better description of it.

It’s time to let your big dogs run. Those dreams and aspirations that keep nudging at your intuition may not bark, but you can tell they still want out. Listen to the big dogs. Therein lies the rest of your life.

You may have heard that bumblebees cannot fly … at least not according to aerodynamics. They are too big and heavy for their wingspan. No known science supports the idea that they can fly, yet they do. Perhaps they just don’t read.

How Have I Grown?

I called my friend and coach, Richard Brooke, today. I had a massive attack of fear show up. I am about to launch myself into the world in a way that I had only dreamed of in my most private moments.

This has been a slow journey for me – filled with lots of learning, lots of bumps and a head full of absolute garbage about who I thought I was and who I believed I could be or could not be to be precise

Many of my clients find it hard to believe that I ever suffered from low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence. I tell them that it is the only way I can coach. Personal experience. If I had not walked and crawled the path I did – there would be no way I could help them along theirs. Experience teaches better than any other way I know.

You need to know that even after 20 years of personal development work – some of it very intense – I still leak disempowering thoughts. In my quiet moments I still have doubts and fears that creep in. The difference now is how I respond to them. I recognize them for what they are – made up stories. Stories I get to rewrite any time I choose. For me, I have had to do many rewrites. Bits of old stories will rear their ugly heads – usually I can tell it them they are full of crap but sometimes I still need a boost. That is when I reach out to a coach.

At each step of the way now I look for mentors and coaches who have gone the path before me. They have always been there but I have not always been awake enough to recognize them. I listen to their mp3s or podcasts, read their books and attend their workshops – I don’t require a one-on-one relationship with all of them to learn from them.

Richard asked me today to quantify the progress I have made in the last 5 years. I went back to 2001 which is when I started working with him. I remember him telling me once my head was 99% full of crap – I have to agree. It is amazing how much negative self-talk one person can have in their head. Once I got through one layer another would show up in it’s place. Once I thought I had dealt with a pattern it would show up later as if to test me.

The important thing to know is that each time I had better tools to deal with the thoughts and patterns. It got ugly at times – I remember wondering where all the anger was coming from – and why was I directing it at the people who were trying to help me. It was because I had to learn how to communicate authentically with the people who were important to me and I had to move through all the old stuff first.

To help me move through my disempowering thoughts and fears today, he asked me to rate myself then verses now on a scale of 1-100

  • What was my belief in my coaching skills. Then 20% now 88%.
  • What was my ability to be public with my intuitive gifts? By public I mean announcing myself to the world or advertising my abilities. Then – 0% – now 75%.
  • What percentage have I improved my ability to believe in myself – 1000% no question. With room to improve.

I spent the first 30+ years of my life promoting other people, other products, other services because I did not believe that I had value enough to promote myself. Despite evidence to the contrary. Richard called it hiding. It is sooo much easier to see the potential in others before we see it in ourselves. It is so much easier to see someone else’s gifts before we see our own.

From the first attempts at developing self esteem when I was a teenager to now, I have always attracted people who also needed to learn what I was learning. I didn’t allow myself to see the positive influence I had on people then. I can see and feel it now.

As those of you who have had a session with me knows, I always give homework.

  • So, where in your life are you underestimating your value? Growth? Belief in yourself?
  • Where are you now vs 5, 10 or 20 years ago?
  • What do you do to get yourself back on a positive track when you get bumped off?

This letter to you was my homework…

Thanks Richard for always believing in me.

Amanda

Richard’s note back to me:

Very authentic, peaceful and powerful. Carry on at a very high level!”

Are You Struggling?

We all move through various stages of well being and balance throughout our lives. A good indication of where we are are the people or lack there of around us at any given time.

  • Are you surrounded by positive people who are happy with their lives?
  • Are people around you in a place of stagnation?
  • Are they tired with their lives but no energy to move out of it?
  • Are they movers and shakers full of positive energy?
  • Are they negative and complaining or are they positive and upbeat?
  • Do they take responsibility for their experiences or blame others?

By the very nature of the vibration of the universe, we attract what we are. Now I know that this concept can be hard to accept if we are in a stagnant or negative space – none the less, it is true. The people around us are mirrors of our own thinking and energy.

Think for a moment about someone or something that really irritates you.

What is it about them that does so?

Now look at your life and ask yourself where in your life you acted the same way. Where in your life could you have caused someone to feel the same way about you?

If you are honest with yourself you will find the answer quite quickly. The ego will jump in and start to justify your actions. Never the less, the actions were yours.

Now – Forgive Yourself.

Once you forgive yourself the actions of others cannot irritate you.

When we Judge others we are judging ourselves and finding ourselves wanting. Not Good Enough. As long as we are not good enough we cannot Love Ourselves. When we start to love ourselves we change our vibration and our lives start to move in a powerful positive direction.

When you resist what you detest you increase its appearance in your life.

Awareness is Power. Power to See Clearly. Power to Change.

As you change you will notice that how you see the people around you changes. How you communicate with them comes from a place of knowing your own spirit. You will be surprised at who shows up differently for you and who moves away. As long as you keep out of judgement everything will flow as it is supposed to. You will attract the people and experiences that reinforce and test your new awareness.

When you are faced with a test just remember it is just that. It is as real as you make it. Return your focus to your new way of seeing your life and actions, the test will lose any power you give it to interrupt your flow of well-being.

Take baby steps; give yourself credit each time you are able to take yourself out of judgement. If you find yourself judging, interrupt the thought, ask yourself where you are showing up that way and forgive yourself. Make any changes you need to make on you. Move on.

Life is a Blessing, Love Yourself as God Loves You – Unconditionally.

Letting Go

People come in and out of our lives all the time. Some for short intense burst, some for long periods of time. How their arrivals and departures affect us depends on the emotional connections we make with each of them.

These connections are an essential part of our mental, emotional and spiritual growth. All connections come with a beginning and an ending; a positive and negative aspect.

They come in all aspects of our lives:

  • Work place connections – professional, coach
  • Social – includes sports, recreation, friendships
  • Family – born & chosen
  • Relationships/love

How well we let people move on is an indicator of our own growth.

When we fear that someone or something we are attached to is going to go or leaves, our energy becomes stuck and stagnant. When energy becomes stuck – drama, pain, and negative emotions soon follow.

We are taught to fear loss instead of embrace new possibilities.

I am sure you have heard the expression, “when one door closes, another opens.” A part of you knows this is true. How often do you actually live by it? When was the last time you had someone close move out of your life? Have you let them go with peace and love? Or, Do you live in a place of wondering and questioning why?

As long as you are holding on you are not moving forward and seeing the new door open.

So how do you begin to let go? Ask yourself these questions:

  • What was the gift or blessing in this experience? Especially if it there were more negatives than positives.

  • What did you learn about yourself in this?

  • How is NOT letting go serving you?

This can be a painful process. However, the rewards can far outweigh the temporary pain.

If you are not able to work through this on your own seek out a professional who can help. Moving forward is the only way to see and find the opportunities and people waiting to meet you.

Every person who comes into our lives serves part of a great purpose of learning and experience. It is o.k. if you do not always know the answer as to why as long as you ask yourself what was the gift/blessing.

How has knowing them made us stronger, better, wiser…

Importance of Releasing Emotions

One of the things I see over and over again in my roles as both Energy Worker and Personal Coach are the effects of unreleased emotions.

Emotions become stored in the body and mind waiting to be expressed when:

  • They do not get expressed in a natural way, such as crying when you feel like crying.
  • By NOT Allowing yourself to FEEL anger, sadness, grief, resentment, loneliness, happiness, contentment, depression, tired, exhausted, incapable, overworked, under worked and the list goes on,
  • By telling yourself things like:
    • you should not be feeling this way,
    • It is wrong to feel what you are feeling
    • Suck it up
    • It is not professional
    • It is too immature, it is juvenile
    • We weren’t allowed to express xyz emotions in our family
    • I don’t know how
    • And the list goes on

You become a walking time-bomb waiting to be released.

Most of us have been told since children that our emotions are inappropriate or our image will be tarnished in some way if we express our feelings.

I am telling you right now it is not only appropriate it is KEY to your mental and physical health to Have and Express feelings.

That said there are healthy and unhealthy ways to allow yourself to express them.

  • How do you find safe/healthy places to release emotions?

Here are some of the places I have found to be helpful:

  • In the shower
  • Parked in my car by a beach or just some beautiful scenery
  • When I have an alone moment in my office
  • Alone in a room in my house
  • Friends & Family who I set up agreements with that we have permission to express our feelings without judgement
  • With a Coach or Counsellor
  • Get active – go to the gym, walk, workout
  • Write it in a journal
    1. When do you let yourself feel the emotions?

The best time is when they are present. Of course in our current culture this is not always feasible or appropriate. By which I mean, if you are feeling angry, taking it out on the first available person or animal is not appropriate. Taking a deep breath and telling yourself you will give yourself time to be with the emotions when you are in one of your safe places is. Chances are the person in front of you is not the real reason of the anger.

Anger stems from not being heard, feeling alone and fear. Fear – of your life being out of control.

Crying in front of coworkers or a boss may not be the right place but you can excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to collect your thoughts. Give yourself time later to let the feelings out. A friend once told me that looking up when you want to cry helps, especially if you are in a work situation.J

If you do not give yourself permission to let them out at a time that is good for you they will get stored. Giving yourself permission to feel what you feel is Key to your longterm wellbeing.

  1. How do you recognize you have stored emotions?
    • You have outbursts of emotion
    • You have chronic pain
    • You injure yourself
    • You have trouble communicating your thoughts and feelings
    • You have never expressed a particular emotion – like crying
    • You keep repeating the same experiences
    • You want to change but don’t know how
    • You have developed illnesses and disease

It is amazing what happens when you give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling.

  • The intensity lessens
  • The length of time in the emotion lessens
  • You get a sense of relief that you are ok.
  • You realize emotions are just emotions. The power is in the holding and releasing.
  • You wish you had known this earlier…

Have a Great Week and Begin to Feel What You Feel.

The Power of Intention

“Get What You Want in Life”

There’s a very powerful, very effective tool you can use to get what you want in life. And, as simple as it is, most of us weren’t taught to use it very well when we were growing up. In fact, some of us were taught not to use it at all, or only when absolutely necessary.

What is this simple, powerful tool? Simply ask. That’s it. Ask. Ask for what you want. Now, I don’t mean whine, and I don’t mean you should expect a handout or someone to do your work for you. What I do mean is learn to ask very specifically and very courteously for what you want. Ask in a way that both helps you define and achieve the end-results you desire.

When you ask for help, create value for the person you are asking. Can you help him or her first? What’s in it for them if they do help you? Money? A good feeling? Being part of a purpose that will help many others? Paint a picture for them of how helping you will benefit them. Finally, ask, with the expectation and belief, that you will get what you want – and keep on asking until you do.

You may not continue to ask the same person and you may have to ask in different ways, but if you refuse to accept “no” for an answer, you increase your chances of eventually ending up with a “yes.”

Lou Tice
The Pacific Institute
www.thepacificinstitute.com

When people come to me for personal coaching sessions or attend one of my trainings, I ask them to start by setting their intended result.

Without an intended result they will leave feeling unsure if they received what they needed. By setting their intention they are telling the Universe what they need. The energy you send out is the energy you will get back.

Moods are a great indicator of this. When was the last time your day began with you in a negative or foul mood? How did that set the tone for the rest of your day? Where people exceptionally nice to you? Did they try to change your mood? Or did you see everything as a confirmation of a miserable day?

If your expectation was that one negative thing will lead to another, that is the INTENTION you are putting out to the Universe. It will give you exactly what you expect. At least, you will interpret experiences with the expectation of reinforcing your initial belief about your day.

This means you get exactly what you expect to get.

This is not a new concept. Many people have been writing and living this for a very long time.

The most famous is “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.

This means you are responsible for the results you are experiencing in your life right now. What kind of intention did you set in motion?

So how, you ask, does this apply to my goals.

When I first started this process it was all about learning to build self-confidence, seeing that people really did want to be my friend and I had something worthwhile to offer the world. As I grew, my intentions changed. These exercises helped me to expand my business, build friendships and more importantly to me now, help others achieve their dreams.

Start your day on the right intention:

We all lead busy active lives. Often we do not take the time we should for ourselves.

Getting focused sets your intention. Take a moment, at the start of your day, take a deep breath and exhale. Focus on a couple of these breaths. It will instantly relax your body. As you do this think about one thing you want to accomplish today. You can also set the mood you want to be in. A simple practice that I started many years ago that has consistently worked. It can take as little as a few seconds in the shower. Practice makes it easier. Do it as often throughout your day as needed.

What’s Holding You Back?

As a Personal Coach, I am a professional listener. I listen to what is being said and what is not being said. Usually the focus needs to be on what is not being said.

As we go through life we create stories about who we are and what we can and cannot do. All of these stories are based on our interpretation of our life experiences. From birth we interpret our world based on limited knowledge and understanding. As we grow, we add more general interpretations of life as a result of interactions with our primary caregivers. We then attract to ourselves others who reinforce those interpretations of our world.

That is, unless we decide we want to change - change the stories, change the interpretations. Both take courage, commitment and focus. More importantly, it requires a realization that you will fall and have to get back up, dust yourself off, and get going again and again.

This takes patience and understanding. If you haven’t learned it already, you need to learn to love yourself. That means taking all the flaws you think you have and realizing they are also your areas of great strength. It means taking your strengths and seeing they can also be your source of weakness.

There is no question that it takes work and commitment to clear through the stories we have created of who we are and what we are in the world. However, it can be done.

Countless individuals before you have done it.

It certainly is a humbling journey but one well worth the taking. You realize you are not the limited flawed being you think you are. You are perfectly, uniquely, You.

You get to enjoy who you are and who you are becoming. Start today, take the journey of self-discovery, it is the most valuable trip you will ever take.

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